Meatballs 101

This is nothing new for you. You have been stretching your meat dollars for years now, right? By adding seasonings for taste, onions for moisture, bread for cohesion, and an egg to hold it all together? It's like meatloaf in ball form! (Except also delicious.) Betty Draper would be proud. Or at least, the mentally stable domestic equivalent of Betty in real 1960s America.

All you need is a half pound of ground meat-of-your-choice, and a couple pantry staples to make an Italian feast. Serve them over pasta, inside a hoagie bun, or atop a warm salad. They need very little else to round them out.

Standard Italian Meatballs

serves 2-3, depending on how many 'balls you like

1/2 lb ground meat (beef, pork, turkey, etc. Skip chicken: it's too lean)

1 slice bread, torn into small pieces

1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese

2 Tbsp chopped parsley

2 Tbsp finely minced onion

1 garlic clove, grated, pressed or minced

1 tsp spicy mustard

1 medium egg

healthy dose of salt and pepper

1. Combine all ingredients in a big bowl. (To increase tenderness, consider soaking your slice of bread in 1-2 Tbsp water or milk for 10 minutes before adding the rest of the ingredients. Totally optional.) Mix lightly with your hands until all ingredients are incorporated. Don't overdo it. Form into balls: I like ping-pong size.
2. Film a large skillet with olive oil and bring to medium-high heat. Cook, turning often until meat is cooked through. This will vary depending on your meat, but will probably take at least 18-20 minutes. I like to leave them undisturbed for 6-8 minutes at a time to develop a nice crunchy sear. Toss them around frequently in the last few minutes of cooking to ensure even doneness. Sacrifice one ball by slicing in half to check for doneness.
3. You're done now.

I Say Kefta, You Say Kofta

Depending on the national boundaries within which you are standing when you order this particular dish, you may ask for kefta (Morocco), kyutfte (Bulgaria), qofte (Albania), kefte (Greece), kufte (Armenia), kofte (Turkey), or kofta (Afghanistan and India). [Thank you, Alan Davidson.] The category of "kefta" is a bit like the category of "meatball" or even "meatloaf" here in the states. It can be composed of innumerable ingredients; it can be spiced in myriad ways; it can be stuffed; it can be the stuffing; it can be braised, broiled, grilled or fried, it can be swathed in sauce, smooshed in a sandwich, or eaten on its own. But the principle is the same:

Ground meat + spices = little bites of heaven.

I'm calling this recipe kefta because of the Moroccan flavoring we slapped on it, thanks to the confidence-inspiring recipe writing of Claudia Roden. Yes, they look like little turds, but boy do they taste good.

One of the keys I'm learning to certain Middle Eastern meat preparations (like gyro meat, for example) is an absurdly fine grind. This means taking the already-ground beef [from the pasture-raised cattle of our friends at Springdell Farm] and spinning it again through the food processor, making a smooth paste of meat and spices. A paste you want to press around a skewer and grill to smoky, charred perfection. A paste you want to incorporate into every ensuing meal, including dessert. A paste you want to tell your grandchildren about.

I have not yet achieved paste-transcendence, but tonight's dinner was number 5 in a series of kefta attempts in our kitchen, and definitely the best one to date. I'm almost positive it was the quality of the meat and none of my culinary skills that elevated this meal, but I'll take the credit while no one's looking.

Serve kefta over a bed of cous cous with braised vegetables, in a spicy tomato sauce, or--like we did-- with flatbread, yogurt sauce, and a simple salad of chopped tomatoes, onions, and peppers in herbs and vinegar.

Kefta Moroccan Style

serves 2; start to finish about 30 minutes

1/2 lb. ground beef or lamb (do me a favor: skip the turkey and go for red meat; it really does make a difference)

1 small onion, grated

1 heaping Tbsp EACH of chopped parsley, cilantro, and mint

1/2 tsp EACH of ground ginger, cinnamon, coriander, and paprika

3/4 tsp EACH of salt, cumin, and black pepper

1. Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix lightly with your hands. The entire mixture should fit in a small food processor, so throw it in and use quick pulses (about 20) to get it nice and smooth. Open the lid and push things around if you need to. IF you do not have a processor, I think it's possible to do this by kneading kneading kneading and squeezing the meat mixture until you achieve paste consistency? Claudia says so anyway. "Knead vigorously" is her exact phrase.
2. Form the meat into 8 equally sized links and prepare to cook. You can do this in a number of ways: on the grill will taste absolutely the best. You can also broil for several minutes on each side or simply bake in a very hot oven for about 20 minutes. Alternately, use a stovetop grill pan or cast iron skillet to cook the turds on both sides--about 12 minutes total.